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Showing posts with label interviews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interviews. Show all posts

MY FRIEND WHO HATES GLITTER.



About 10 minutes ago i was covered in glitter, only to find out my mate lenski was disgusted by me. why? she fucking hates glitter.




wang: Soo whats your problem?
lenski: urgh, its just...**shivers**.i dont like it.


wang:im sorry?
lenski:I dont like shiny stuff.


wang:why?
lenski:its gets everywhere and wont go away.


wang:How was your childhood?
lenski:urmmm fine, HOW IS THIS RELEVANT TO GLITTER?


wang:oh, NOTHING.
lenski: okay...


wang:Soo, what if i put glitter on your face?
lenski: what?


wang:do you scream and cry?
lenski: NO! I just get angry.


wang:Okay, soo you have glitterphobia?
lenski: no, im not scared of it. i...just...dont...like ...it


wang:Yes?
lenski:no!




wang:Urmm , You're weird.






photo and interview by funmi wittle

B MONI talks to wang.


Alright guys, i caught up with bilal probably known as b moni, his an mc and COMEDIANNN.waa gwarnnn,this had the potential to be a great interview but me getting distracted by tap dancing rats and plantain didnt really help us bond that much.Also i got a "BRB" from him...i:e he ran away and vows never to let a girl like me waste his time on some soo called interview. here's how is went before he did a dissappearing act:

Funmi/wang: alright bilal
B moni:ask den
Funmi /wang: haha
i feel under pressure now.loooooool
B moni:ask ask ask
Funmi/wang:how ure culinary skills like(not like it related to anything comedy based)?
B moni:i know what a fork is i kno what a knife is
and a spoon
im nigerian so i kno how 2 eat with my hands aswell
...
Funmi/wang: not all nigerians use they're hands you know?
B moni:i know,
was thatserious question tho?
Funmi/wang: yup
it is indeed.
B moni: ermm ok
funmi/wang:before we continue what ure views on plantain?
B moni:that's the shit right there.. in every form... fried, roasted, raw, in a packet (crisps), jus hard
Funmi/wang:how did you get in comedy and all that malarky?
B moni:went 2 LOL show @ the end of 08
said do myself i can do this approached the promoter/ comedian mr cee hu's show it was.then in march 09 i did my first sohhh siickk!!
Funmi/wang:you seee what makes you stand out from the same ol joke tellers?
B moni:erm im jus real 2 b honest
jus say it exacly how i feel
Funmi/wang:Sooo,*coughs* tap dancing rats or a polar bear with the voice of mariah carey?
B moni:could dey be white rats? if so they wud remind me of stuart little.. and if they tried 2 sing they'd probly sound like mariah anyway
Funmi/wang: you want white rats ? Fahking racist
B moni:well a black rat dont look like stuart little does it
Funmi/wang: a light skin rat?
B moni:no white
Funmi/wang: Duh!
Funmi/wang:ohh i know for a fact that you not "fan" of big brother?
B moni: awww cmon
Funmi/wang: Nahhhh,share ure views
B moni: nxt question
Funmi/wang: *shakes nervously* weed or skittles?
B moni: Skittles

Daniel: Young Conservative


Heyy guys i caught up with the Daniel O'Donoghue recent elected class president (of my class(..Ermm duh we touched on youth,politics,teen mums and his favorite show "survivor" Ohh BEWARE!! he does rant a fair bit .

Wang:Alrite daniel your the newly appointed class president.WOOP!GET IN DER!
Daniel:I am the class president of Group A year one and the class size is about 15 but when I was voted in it was at least 20. My official title is the class representative (that's my job as well)


Wang:Soo class president.. aint that accurate?
Daniel:Ermm well people prefer calling me president and I don't mind it.
My job role is to represent our classes interest in our meetings and try to solve any problems which arisen in our class. Another role I do that is unofficial is to try and get our class on ball by answering questions the teacher asks and making sure group work is done correctly. Some perks of this position is that I can leave lessons when I want to and I get to know the higher ups in the food chain which could be helpful if needed.
Wang:What have you actually done then?
Daniel:Some issues I have raised for our class is that we need larger tables for canteen as they are a bit cramped and that the food price is to high. I also raised the issue that their needs to be a shelter for the smokers outside the canteen (someone has to think of the smokers). We rarely talk about the teaching quality as it is very good and I have a good class to be president of. We will have to see around march or february to see if any of this has gone into effect.
Wang:Hmmm you do seem as the quite poiltical young lad well youre always going about the EU and that malarky in class
Daniel:You see, I am politically conservative but I also lean left. I lean left because I know its important to have good relations with the working class and underclasses and so many people now life on the welfare system that to remove it would be taking a step backwards (every nation also needs good social housing). I am conservative because I am pro-law and believe its important to have strong family connections. You may have the heard the term "Broken britain" being said and I strongly believe it is broken.
Wang:Emm skeen *reaches for tea*
Daniel:Their is an alarming trend of children being brought up with out any morals, they used to be supplied through religion but their also falling church attendance so I believe its up to the state to deliver moral guidance to children and youths.
Wang:im guessing you dont think that much of the eu then?
Daniel:I am also somewhat of euro sceptic (I voted ukip at the 09 elections). The people in the EC are reminiscent of the corruption of south America. Money that is meant to go to farmers is being diverted to fund golf clubs. There is also talk of an EU tax which all member states have to pay while I think we get taxed enough, if we were to stop giving the EU our £12 million a year we would be able to cut off inheritance tax, stamp duty and capital gains tax. We could use that money making sure that we know what it is being spent on or improving our country.
Wang:Surely that would be a good thing ..well i think..hmm im baffled already soo how do you spend your weekends n stuff?
Daniel:I usually go with friends to the museums or attractions (this city has the best) and at night we go to the pub and talk about usual stuff but we usually don't remember it next day.
Wang:Museums..Pubs...Whatcha think of the youth culture then?

Daniel:
There is good parts and bad parts to the youth of today. Older people always complain about the youth before us it was the ravers in the 90s , skinheads and punks in the 80s and the rockers and mods in the 70s. Knowing this I have come to terms that we are a nation of complainers and the only worth while thing to complain about in my opinion is the weather. The most worrying thing I see about the youth of today is the rising teenage pregnancy (which is the highest in western Europe). I see this as one of the things which make britain "broken", before you used to try and deter youth from having sex but now its more about education and what ifs and with the media influence we know why it is happening. This could also be the future for us because we are the generation born out the cold war and are now reaching adulthood.
Wang:Ahhh yikess..really and truly us as a nation we must be pissed soo right now..arghh im watching Misfits.its soo jokes.woop!Whats tend to watch on telly?
Daniel:My favourite program would probably be "survivor" it was a show shown on the BBC last year about how a plague has wiped out 99% humanity and these people have to deal with the break down of law and order, I like it for the setting. I like the older comedy programs like Ali G , Alan partridge , harry enfield and spitting image.

Wang:whooa thanks *while doing victory dance*
Daniel: End rant:
Didnt have much to say here.

Wats ure ASL? babe

In this new age of guys getting hornier...ermm girls getting hornier too
and when boredom srtikes and you just happen to own a computer(internet)
...a site called teen chat among our have seem to cure our restlesssnesswell not mine.
So i planned was to go on this site and ask people if they wanted tell me what they experiences n chat site were but all i got was
"FUCKKKKKKKKKKK OFFF U TWAT""
"YOU WANNA SEE ME JERK OFF???"
"DO YOU MIND THAT IM 42 YR OLD MALE FROM MARYLAND.USA?"
i was soo dishearthed and emotional by all this and Finally someone came to talk to me.well he goes by the name of guyuk...well here was our convo.-----> (it lasted 15 mins)

/>guyuk:hey how are you do you wnna see my jack off?
wang:excuseee..i think ill pass
guyuk:please?
wang:dude just watch porn or teluttubies or just want saddam hussein getting hanged..hahhaa
guyuk: well its more fun when girls watch? ;)
wang:seriously?? if she was some next butterzzz 16 year old with spots that looked like skittles
guyuk:yea?
i dont care really.
wang:well what brings you hear?
guyuk: you know..to chat with like minded people..& fun ;)
wang: fair enough.....(then silence for like 7 and a half minutes)
guyuk:do wanna watch wank or not?
wang:sorrry im a man...
well if you like tha ;)
guyuk:WHATTTT???
you sed u were female
wang:well i changed to a female 3 years agoo..
guyuk: omg
wang: Do yo still want me to watch you jerk off? ;)
guyuk : YOURE SICK.