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In the Woods!

The thing is with guys you actually dont have to treat them like some next species even though they act like one.But i just find it jokes when some girls cant even communicate on just talk to a boy on a level without fancying them(sometimes going to a all girls school plays a part).I actually rather peng male friends and i dont fancy em..or wanna shag em.Hmmm but also certain girls are like "i get along better with guys,I mainly have guy friends" well thats ok.well kudos for you as long you dont fall for the trap for being they're fuck buddy or lets just say "friends with benefits" *cringe* but from experience guys would prefer you(girls) to just be the words of alexis "Be the person you wnat to attract".ahh * turns to tv & watches t4* ohh ive forgotton were i was....*thinks* but yehh mmm be opened to people to guys/girls/ure friends.Also when i say opened..i mean dont judge,not being antisocial. i dont mean-the-slutty-type-im-soo-cool.It might be RAD being know as the slutty friend for now but u can blatently tell everyone will PARR you off(secretly)..even the person you might off liked aswell.
Ps: Forgive me for using the word RAD..but watching wayy too much hanna montana shows lately.

A premiere about Cycling??? and more

LONDON TO PARIS from Amazing Grace on Vimeo.
Ill shall be looking forward to seeing you there..say hello aswell when you see me..but obviously bring me cupcakes aswell b4 you do! ;)

Alrite Guv'nor


Wanking improves your health #fact

This is not a joke. This is a genuine weight loss exercise thats beeen invented.ok i wont lie its just loooks hilarioous and its obviously a very WANKING based exercise created by men to fulfilled they're.....ermmm needs.Kudos to the researchers and makers of this products.Its rather jokes :)

Smart Cars are tooo GULLY!

I present to you a yellow smart car and this was the first thoughts that came to most people when i showed them this picture.

"That is the gayest car ive ever seen"

"Ohh christ does it have atape deck aswell"

"Its actually quite environmentally friendly"

"Is it cheap though?"

"Oh shit; it looks like a paedo's car"

"ohh yellow car" folowed by a punch to my arm

To get more amaizng cars like this ..i reckon you should on they're site.Also im sure driving a smart car is a quick route to ure grave but its quite trendy..well if ure a teletubby.

Paper & Glue

All i know is some guy called Ruben Martinho takes lovely photos but his illustrations are actually too nice.i kinda wanna poke my eye out.. just a teeny bit though.

Check out his stuffage


Just thought this was really funny and thought I'd share it with you. :)


Alrite guys this is HENRY but call me Steezy innit!! Funmi, my girl was like "HENRY U GOTTA DO SUMFIN 4 WANG?!" i was like "skeeen" but im just give u lot a taster of my life..well NOT much tho!

Soo this is my school innit.ITS IGHT I GUESS.its like most SKOOLS ..its just that MY PAREEEENTS PAY.and ohh the building is SHIT.SOO DONT WATCH THE BUILDINGGG!!!

THIS IS ARE MY brethrens James and olly..I ALWAYS CALL DEM The battyman HAHAH cuz they DONT like THE SKEPTA AND GIGGS..and true say they dont have fresh garms but they safe tho,they always have my back in geography class.
but everytime i come back to me yard from the BOARDING SKOOOL ..I always jam with my homie
Jermain aka J from lyton estate.BRAP.(Big up)

Last night was bareee JOKES I CAUGHT UP With one of my link Chantell from elephant & castle.SHE'S sum Peng BLACK Chick from Stockwell park school.I like em sooome booty but she dont know i go PRIVTE SKOOOL THO.CUZ I'll lose CRED from the mandemzz innit.

Well aparently funmi was like i shud do more post of this wang thin and i was like "SKEEEEN" sooo ill spk soon.I GoTTTA go and help my mum make some *coughs* Caviar.

Just love yourself? ok

(Photo courtesy of teenwitchart )

Get wet like a Sauna

bashing the bishop,wax the weasel,choke the sheriff, wanking,jerking off,pulling ones todger,playing with ones joy stick,wacking out a few, making milk ETC

apart from all the myths about Masturbation, going blind...seeing jesus...growing hair on your palms. There is nothing worng with experimenting with your body and knowing what you like also if megan good is on telly with her extremely pert plums why not wack out a few? its not like jesus is gonna disown you ,after all he never had a wife or lady friend (apart from mary Magdalene ,but hey lets not get into conspiracy theories here)

if you don't have a girl friend or boyfriend and ARE NOT having promiscuous sex and you are not touching yourself , i really don't know what to say to you, you might as well just slit your wrists now and swallow that bottle of mr muscle.

what's wrong with you?

is it Fear; do you think your peers will judge you? NO they are probably wanking three shades of pink into there willy as you sit and deliberate about how "dirty it makes you feel"

are you scared that jesus would look down on you ? well then you are a fool because if he's in heaven like the story says, then he will always be looking down on you! FACT

when you get into these situtations its like WWJD? well I'll tell you what he would do.

he would be jerking off so hard that your four walls will be painted with cum

you don't want to hurt yourself; don't worry the only way you could possible ruin any of your chances in having your own spawn of flies, is if you attack yourself with a machete or get head from a fire breather. OUCH i remember David *nostalgia* just start of with a lubricant (do not use Vaseline if you know that what you cream yourself with,water based is the best) and the rest will follow, remember your body needs to release all this tension.whatever you do, DO NOT USE THIS

the theory: if more people wanked there would be less mental wankers in the world .FACT!
P.S your mum already knows ,stop leaving your used tissues under the bed, its simple just WASH YOUR HANDS

P.P.S you might need music and this has the "sex beat"

let me blow, i will not let you blow!

they make me so happy that i want to stop abusing best friends penis,

MUPPET SHOW you have made me into a humanitarian.

WE love to see that you can still make kindagarden humour relevant to our synical adult lives.

The Sub Club:What is Chardie? :Part 2

note to Chav girl: the whole wolverine/skunk look was soo 2004 along with belly button rings.

shall i speak about your Long claws (how the hell do you wipe your arse only the Godsknow ?) if there was a "WICKED WITCH" competition i'm sure you would be in for 1st prize.Then of course them bush leaves hanging from your eyelashes... yes you. fake ed hardy wearing H.O.M.O.P.H.O.B.E. after its a "batty man/poofta" that puts in your hair extensions. GOOD LORD

why don't you just go and pose for a cheap rave flyer that miss uses bashment song lyrics for Titles and PISS RIGHT OFF!!

I will just touch on your male versions.Everyone at BURBERRY KNOWS YOUR HAT IS FAKE, chav boy come on. You are ruining it for everyone else, i don't have to make a bong out of a 3 month old white-ace bottle. when i want to smoke weed i just buy a REAL bong from the SHOP duchebag. I hear you can get one for the same price as a "big tasty" at Mc Donalds.Only you can insult an immigrant for being a leach on your country whenTHEY HAVE A JOB that pays tax and YOUR ON THE DOLE robbing old ladies and happy slapping people's children.

DON'T EVER GET RUDE and call my mate a bender when you dont even know what fucking bath salts look like.

i know it looks bad but really she is gonna bang doe

Dear Mr.Yardie man/Big T/Shanker D/Elgin lumpkin III,

i just wanted you to know that every time you chirps me it makes my day,even though i'm going somewhere probably much more important and i'm clearly in a hurry, just the thought of your "ganja breath" makes my belly fizzy with red stripe :).When you call me "gyal or hot ting bumbaclart" its SOO A-MAZING clearly you are unique in your approach to courting the opposite sex. Like i think you have so much "SWAGGER" its unbelievable

, such a shame you still live at your mothers "YARD". ED Hardy was definitely made with you in mind,the diamanté overload is TRES CHIC and soo NOT totally and completely gay, but its good you feel that not-shaving-your-armpits emasculates that tank top.

Your soo romantic, when you drag me by my thighs, away from my friends to dagger me even though i'm blatantly NOT INTERESTED in you.Your not my man. i don't have a number for your broke arse. Please excuse me whilst i repress the memory of our little "dance" ,when i get home i'll definitely be washing my mouth out with industrial strength bleach. So The white man/government dogs is oppressing you and yet you are shagging three shades of pink into his white wife Cathy? Interesting theory clearly you know how to *right the wrongs* in our society. Whats that you say? "real badman never.ever suck pussy?" is that right? is that why your breath smells like lady juice?

i hope your album sales increase or how else are you going to purchase the new lyle and scott jumper/cardigan/shit garms,

please stop trying to sell me drugs outside madame jojo's

all my love,

"dutty gyal" Byron

They dont make it easy for themeselves, i mean prove us POSHTWATOPPRESSORSwrong, start with getting a job maybe?....stop reading the SUN...?stop blaming people that don't speak english for all the social problems that you have going on in your own life...?me thinks take some responsibility for yourself..? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

To be fair both subcultures are just as needless to society as swine flu is to pigs, however i think i have found there purpose in life, they are here to TEST us, TEST our humanity,TEST our patience and are simply just stimuli created by certain parts of our fucked up society that needs a scape goat or just someone for us to all point the finger and go "hey-i-might-be-part-of-the-proloteriat-but-at-least-im-not-the-undercalss-at-least-im-not-on-benefits--at-least-im-not-a-CHAV!"

Maybe looking at them forces us to hold up a mirror to the society we live in and see that it cant be called Great Britain if we still have poverty and poverty stricken subcultures stabbing everyone ,having affairs with our desperate housewives,selling us all the Coke and Weed you could shove a Hundred pound note at. Maybe one day , just one day they will get a job as my gardener or maybe a dustbin man , probably Transport Police taking out there frustrations on your teenage daughter just because she is using a child travel card today instead of her 16+?

yet we don't want them mixing with our "perfect little princesses" or at our gates asking for help? because if they ever dared we would "call the police" then lock them up with all the other delinquents that don't fit in.

Just a thought.

also this is a great book so read it.

GAGA made me a HOE!

You know what i love soo much about the reaction of this video was angry loyal beyonce who were just like

"Why is beyonce acting like hoe..why?"

"GAGA ruined the song"

I watched the video i wont say lady gaga killed the song as much..its just that she TONED herself down alot..well blatently to make beyonce which i rather admire but just made me think they was really no point of Lady googoo to be in video.

*goo on youtuve to watch video one more time"

Some guy on youtube just commented the video saying "BEYONCE LOOKS LIKE SHE GIVES GOOD HEAD IN THIS VIDEO"...ermmm ok you cartoon wanker

Ohh next time beyonce ...please dont be a media whore; justy have some intregrity and stick to what your good @ dancing with two backing dancers. Oh actually on your next song collaborate with JEDWARD...prettty please..i promise to buy all your house of dereon jeans if you do ;)

What's up wangers and wangerettes!

HAPPY MONDAY.. now be good.

Chanel, Aint you growing up

Remember little pretty model Chanel iman, apreantly she's only just gone abit ASBO-ish in this shoot with deutsch magazine.I really like this shootb and the lovely wig they put on her hair.Whats up with the water though im sure thats gonna ruin the weave ..well someone just told me now the water over supposed to be sexy..ermm ok the.Sexy it is!
Ps: i just noticed she looks like a buff grandma skeleton in one of the pics..hahah :)

Aint you that guy from Cbbc?? What??!PISSED OFF

Yagga yo,
I present to you my homie from another mother ...

Matt edmonson..i wont lie he'll probably gonna annoy the hell out of you,
with his sqiurmy voice and
sarcastic meet intelluctuall ways.But months ago i introducing him to the masses here (eventhough he was already quite known in the CBBC SCENE....BRAP BRAP!).His part of the pocket tv show and Holy Moly.They seemed to like me alot and i love matt's wits and charms *coughs*.
Here's his weekly (video) blog thing on xfactor.Its rather jokes but i understand if you do feel like you wanna punch his face. :)

Ohh please stalk him on , thanks

Me need some comfort from him..ITS WINTER!

“Let rain exalt us
As the night draws in.
Winds howl around us,
As we begin.”