HOW DOES THIS VIBRATING TING WORK AGAIN?

Soo the other day a mate of mine bought me this 40 quid clit stimulator shit as an early birthday present. At first i was obviously like 'brav, i dont need this' but then realised as an ever growing hormonal teen, this is vital as it could be my replacement for actually HAVING S E X with aids ridden chong tings.

**tumble weed**

urmm soo How this thing works? you put it in your pants and you have a remote control where you can control the speed or vibration level.

However, Due to the fact, im kinda like a meech and didnt know i was supposed to use it like a vibrating dildo. Instead i just casssjuually left it in my pants whilst waiting for something special to happen....which didnt.

**awkward silence**

I FELT N O T H I N G GUYS, nothing

urgh.

well, the moral of the story is SEX TOYS ARENT 4 ME.

CHESS.

I LUUURVE HERR!!!!

 

'MANS NEED TO BLEACH HIS TEETH TOO' - ANON

Tbh, before vybz's bleached his face ive never really paid attention to his somewhat tedious noise music.....but NOW....he loooks like a hipster version of a zombie.AHHHH HOW TRENDY?*aff accent*HOW COOL? i know right.

since this bleaching malarky ive actually becoming more obsessed with his music.

i mean..C'mon. THIS MAN IS A GENIUS.

Exhibit a***

but yeahhh, i didnt even say hi....soo ermmm HIYYYYAAAAA!!

what's crackalinggg??

I have the snotty nose and sneeezes(?).

PARRRRRR!!!

....sooo err--rmmm whose been enjoying the wonderful and insightful beauties  of fashion week? anybody?? NO ONE!!!

HAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHA

yeah i understand...its kinda overrrated.

*five seconds later*

okay, its not.

ITS SOOOOO AMAZING!(not really)(im just being a meech)

Charlie le mindus lfw party with babestation was siiiiicccckkkk!!!! YES...BABETVSTATION.

His collection was fantastic(ok, im gassed)

......but im still ill soo i have missed some brunch with some fashion council(aparently)

PARRRRR!!!!!!!

anyhoooooo, alan carr is about to coming on...like...ermm now.

sooo i's gottta go.

      PEACE AND LOVE...AMIGASSS!!!!

   xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

IS THAT MERCY FROM EASTENDERS???

it don't S M E L L like T E E N S SPIRITS

ERM KURTYZ?

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF?

WE COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDZ!

IM DEPRESSEED...NOW. because kurt cobain died when i was still dancing to fucking teletubbies.