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Meet my duchebag Mate.

Hey im Amie sia Byron Wolfe and of recent I have had to separate myself from my duchebag mates,its just not cool you know?

OK so every group of friends has one, and if you don't know who it is then.. IT IS YOU>>we put up with you because we are your MATES so why are you always......
+e.g having non -attending tendencies to things..... like all the parties your invited to but complaining when we stop inviting you to shit
+not being able to speak to people out of your comfort zones (you suck because everyone else does it for you)
+being violent to us when to are intoxicated by the numerous drugs that you are addicted to (nobody's life is entirely drug free but everyone needs limits).
+always complaining when things don't go your way
+you are not Derren brown so stop trying to MIND FUCK YOUR OWN MATES, this includes manipulating every situation ,just to get your own way is wrong and you shouldn't do this....if a friend to YOU is someone that does whatever the fuck you want then we want no part in your mind fuckery.
is there an emotional nerve that was cut out your head at birth?
even with all your social flaws we are still friends and yet you think that I am the one being flaky with you?
me thinks that you erm.... BULLSHIT MUCH? how is it, that when I go halves with you on food , I get £0 change back? not to mention the time you slept with someone knowing full well that we liked each other. Is it so impossible for you to comprehend for even a split second that the axis the earth spins around isn't your hairy fat arse? No don't make that im-so-confused-as-to-why-you-guys-are-being-soo-mean-to-me? face that you always make when people are trying to give you some advice ,just SUCK IT UP and get over YOU,we all know that even you are not that naive and retarded.....just a DICK-HEAD really>seriously your a good friend but you know that there's more inside and that you have a lot to give so stop douching on us all and we wont remind you of all the times that the prick in you raised its ugly head

and how you would sell the souls and kidneys of YOUR FRIENDS for another bottle of bear and half a gram of cocaine ,then-we-can-stop-having-this-conversation-deal?