CHEAP ASS.

Y U NEVER HAVE CREDIT?

Y U ALWAYS USE CFBSMS TO TEXT ME?

Y U ALWAYS BOOTY CALL ME WHEN YOU KNOW I HAVE NO BOOTY?

Y U DROP CALL ME FROM NIGERIA??

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??

douchebrain.

Dear Snoop Dogg,


Just letting you know that we have kinda withdrawn your name from our mailing list. It’s just because there’s nothing really cool about you. Anymore. Since your appearances on the Martha Stewart show, the view. We don’t want to associate with you. Ok.
And that Katy Perry video. Oh seriously. WHY?
As far as you are concerned. You have been removed from our database.


Goodbye.


Yours contemptuously,
The mysterious association of the Wang kid who used to like snoop dogg before he appeared in that California gurls video.

Excuse me, WHY IS NICKI MINAJ SOO SHIT?

you see, i was probably one of the first people who loved nicki minaj ...even before her im-barbie-bitch faze. but fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! she's actually meechy. everyting she does just seeems very...(whats that word)..BEG! and her new video is reallly embaraasing. WHAT THE FUCKS HAPPENED TO HIP HOP? BFJBDJFASKJDKLASDLKSLKSL;KDLASKLAKJSLDJAKJFDKSJFKJ and the fact, the radio is playing her new tune every second. i actually know the words *slaps self* and *dashes holy water* I MISS AUNTY KIM! MEYN! SHE WAS SOOO COOOL AND SLUTTY WITHOUT BEING A BEG! COME BACK LIL KIM! i miss youuuuuuu! kinda..? ish! but in the meantime ima go on youtube and listen to my aunties insightful songs

YEAH YEAH IM PRETTIER THAN YOU INNIT (LOLjk) im chipmunk

How to RUIN .....SEX

We all know Smexxxing is fun, its lovely, its amazinglyyyy especially when your in that moment but theres things that can KILL that moment, you know like a little clash, think of the apocalpse.YUP!

When giving head never say the word "deepthroating" "ahh babe do you like me deepthroating yah?" it will CLASH,because you CANNOT use that word as a continuous verb and its just weird.just shurrrup and suck that banana.eurghhhhhh. btw: I WILLL NEVER GIVE ANYONE HEAD, i was just advising you girls.

NEVER in anyform use food as a prob during sex because knowing me , ill just get bare distracted by the plantain and forgot about the buff guy that lying with me.Make you sure you find out what the girl is allergic before you starts feeding and stuff, she just MIGHT be lactose intolerant or allergic to wheat, haha imagine that.Killing ure gyal whilst you were just making a romantic gesture.

Ohh a family member dying or just just found out ure dad is in hospital just become your about CLIMAXXXXXX , is a PARRRR,bcuz if you did eventually cum knowing ure family member was in hospital,you'd feel guilty, well i would.

I actually hate the idea of roleplaying, i actually got a b in gcse drama soo it wouldnt be a problem,but the worst would be roleplaying with a girl who BAREE SHITT at acting and she's like "DOOO YOU WANT ME TO DOCTORING URE COCK or something crap like that* in a shitty russian slash nigerian accent. PARGAS!

NEVER CRY during sex,ahhhh, ok, its an exception its ure first time and you FEEL like a car is being push into you and FOR GUYS# if you cry i will slap you!

I would actually CRINGGGEEEE if everything was going great and stuff and all i heard was " YEAHH NIGGGAAA I WANNA FUCKK U UP THE ARSE,U FUCKING BITCHH,etccc" ermmm pls dont i know its romanticand aparently acceptable to be sexist and a teeny weeny bit racist during a BANG! but if you call me a nigga or a bitch i WILL SHANK YOU with a plantain #fact


Ps: never shit on a girl thinking ure romantic, have sex during her periods(if u were a vampire),START begging her to wipe with a frying pan or belt(BECAUSE you will regret it after the sex)

FIVE WAYS TO PISS AN OPTISMIST(like me) OFF!

Soo you get me funmi aka ..thatlondongirl.im actually a mindless optismist..maybe a teeny bit naive but an optismist.i NEVER EVER get angry or moody but theres certain things that make me tick and kinda throw me of my edge

1. NEVER EVER DISSS SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, just because his a mindless optismist that doesnt mean his worth all ure angst and NO his not GAY, i do know his makes out and stuff with patrick but according to adele, his bi-curious. end of.

2.m a sharing person with food and stuff but when it comes to my PLANTAIN, im like fahhkkk off, soo when im eating my plantain. DO . NOT. TOUCH.IT,i will swiitch and thump in the face, actually i wont because i cant really fight but i WILL cry.

3. EDHARDY, im soooorryyy but please Dont wear edhardy everything, like edhardy hats,Ehardys underwear,EDhardy hats,etc, you get my point, you just look RUDEEECULOUSSSS and NO! you dont have "SWAGG" please stop using that word or saying you have swagger, after you were asking me for lunch money yesterday!!

4. WHITE GUYS WHO TRY TO MOVE ME by saying "i's grow up with black people innit"(that ACTUALLY HAPPENED) in which his dad is some any next oil tycoon but he still lives in a shoreditch squat with his BAITTT fixed gear mates who JUST happen to dj. BIG UP!

5. If you dont like tea, thats good on you, JUST KEEP IT URSELF!!! as it could damage any future relations me and you my have,because im a loyal pg tip drinker and it actually saddens me when i see people who actually hate tea and its even worse when they are BRITISH! O_O

Oi, Obafemi , STOP DAGGERING MY FRIEND.

Why o why? i havent done a post about this. i havent got a clue.. actually i do my mate *couhs* amie was the reason. At some street party is was DAGGER rape *GASPS* its alright, everyone she wasnt reeeeeally rape, like in what you think,well maybe she was. i dont know but YES, this FRESHHHHH african man kept on DAGERRRING HER away in the sense that he kinda lost the initial bid to be cute and all rommantic in huge grant's moview but i feel bad now that i idnt come to her rescue by herrr RUSKKOOOO was djing.Fahking hell, that guy is G.I didnt evn bother to tie my shoe laces even tho i can see her in the corner saying "FUNMIIIIIIII HELPPPPP MEEEE"" but i feel bad, and i hope you forgive *coughs again* amie, ok??
welll his a video to show you want my mate went through by this any next fresh african dude who just wouldnt PISSS OFF!!