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How to RUIN .....SEX

We all know Smexxxing is fun, its lovely, its amazinglyyyy especially when your in that moment but theres things that can KILL that moment, you know like a little clash, think of the apocalpse.YUP!

When giving head never say the word "deepthroating" "ahh babe do you like me deepthroating yah?" it will CLASH,because you CANNOT use that word as a continuous verb and its just weird.just shurrrup and suck that banana.eurghhhhhh. btw: I WILLL NEVER GIVE ANYONE HEAD, i was just advising you girls.

NEVER in anyform use food as a prob during sex because knowing me , ill just get bare distracted by the plantain and forgot about the buff guy that lying with me.Make you sure you find out what the girl is allergic before you starts feeding and stuff, she just MIGHT be lactose intolerant or allergic to wheat, haha imagine that.Killing ure gyal whilst you were just making a romantic gesture.

Ohh a family member dying or just just found out ure dad is in hospital just become your about CLIMAXXXXXX , is a PARRRR,bcuz if you did eventually cum knowing ure family member was in hospital,you'd feel guilty, well i would.

I actually hate the idea of roleplaying, i actually got a b in gcse drama soo it wouldnt be a problem,but the worst would be roleplaying with a girl who BAREE SHITT at acting and she's like "DOOO YOU WANT ME TO DOCTORING URE COCK or something crap like that* in a shitty russian slash nigerian accent. PARGAS!

NEVER CRY during sex,ahhhh, ok, its an exception its ure first time and you FEEL like a car is being push into you and FOR GUYS# if you cry i will slap you!

I would actually CRINGGGEEEE if everything was going great and stuff and all i heard was " YEAHH NIGGGAAA I WANNA FUCKK U UP THE ARSE,U FUCKING BITCHH,etccc" ermmm pls dont i know its romanticand aparently acceptable to be sexist and a teeny weeny bit racist during a BANG! but if you call me a nigga or a bitch i WILL SHANK YOU with a plantain #fact

Ps: never shit on a girl thinking ure romantic, have sex during her periods(if u were a vampire),START begging her to wipe with a frying pan or belt(BECAUSE you will regret it after the sex)