Excuse me, WHY IS NICKI MINAJ SOO SHIT?

you see, i was probably one of the first people who loved nicki minaj ...even before her im-barbie-bitch faze. but fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! she's actually meechy. everyting she does just seeems very...(whats that word)..BEG! and her new video is reallly embaraasing. WHAT THE FUCKS HAPPENED TO HIP HOP? BFJBDJFASKJDKLASDLKSLKSL;KDLASKLAKJSLDJAKJFDKSJFKJ and the fact, the radio is playing her new tune every second. i actually know the words *slaps self* and *dashes holy water* I MISS AUNTY KIM! MEYN! SHE WAS SOOO COOOL AND SLUTTY WITHOUT BEING A BEG! COME BACK LIL KIM! i miss youuuuuuu! kinda..? ish! but in the meantime ima go on youtube and listen to my aunties insightful songs

O yer i forgot.

alritey wangers,


incase you didnt know partially because i havent ermmm told ya ive been in texas for the summer and its rather dandy. its hot but its ight. Can ihhh just say america is the most commercial place ive evr been too? its like a walking advert!
Meh! also why does everyone classify indie as rock? ITS DIFFERENT!ok? its such a par that you lot arent allowed to drink till your 21!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? ive been drinking since was like three.... BANG BANG! ok, i havent. i just begged it nicely but still. yerr, i miss london but my cousins has a trampoline, a massive swimming pool, a basketballl court, a games room.....SOO i cant really complain.
Days of our lives is the most melodramtic thing ive ever seen in my life..dbnsjfdjfjkdjkjskjkdsjfkjfk and jersey shore is the best thing since french toast!

Mommy,I WANT A SLAP CHOP!!

Men are stupid!

this woman reminds me of my aunty Hawa (she thinks sh'es a party girl, when she has a husband and two kids)

FOR SHAME!

OMG, her lyrics are on point. She is AMAZING, please adopt me and wear that blonde wig to parent-teacher meetings.

sing a long everyone.....

Shaky, shaky ,shaky,

Bum ,BUM

im gonna show you my genitalia

ohhhh.....

#lies, only Johnny Depp can see my special fried rice

*sighs*, ohhh Johnny!!

i promise you, she will be the African Susan Boyle (obviously with less hair and not a virgin)

XX BYRON

p.s shout outs to Daniel Aurthur for alerting me to this

teddybears - cobrastyle

my new favourite tune. anything sung in patois makes me happy. also the insightful lyrics of "rude bwoy digga digga ahh" is pretty amazing. great suff. the end.

Savage like a Garden

XX BYRON

things we lost

' we killed the freckles. we left our summer skin. we ran away.now,im back together. between these thoughts and expressions i started to find something. else. something different. purple skies. the wee hours disappeared. please, leave this film. today. brisky! im a caterpillar. i never became that butterfly. la la la la la la. i dreamt a thousands times. the stars flicker in glitter. i close my eyes for a second. we lost. hello. tah dah! the words we lost. the things we broke. im on the mellow. im lost in the fielder. wee hee! tah dah! goodbye mr. my friend. the truth still lies in this place. lets dance tonight. today. la la. just sing. my love. '

Gourmet Quadici : Spring/Summer 2011 Preview

WOOOOOOOOOW...

i want cheetah print Gourmet and i want them NOW!

they kind of remind mind me of a kickers/Airmax Hybrid crepe, and they are so fekking HOT.

i can't wait to get my hands on a pair of these, i shall wear mine with some Camel coloured Dickies Chino's,my cream Lacoste jumper and no socks.

:)))

i'm literally full of beans ,i'm sooo happy and filled with anticipation i could eat an entire skittles rainbow

BYRON XX

Calvin Klein Jeans Advert

Eerrrrm.....

Ok Calvin Klein , i am no connoisseur of advertising, but isn't this supposed to be about selling jeans and stuff?

not sure if i want jeans after watching this, i kinda just wanna have sex in a bathtub.

just saying

XX BYRON

Dear Allah for Christmas i want AJ Abualrub

Ahmad Jalal

aka

AJ Abualrub

He is born in june like me (20th)

He on the right side of 25 like me (he is 23 , i just turned 20 but still)

He is Arab ( i can speak Arabic, habebti..)

Ford model

He is from Kentucky, there is a Kentucky fried chicken shop on my high street

we were just made for each other,made to make sweet sweet luuuurv

and............

he

is

soooooo

FEKKING

PENG!!

i Mean look at that jaw *jizzed in pants

i want to marry him and cook him food all day and fuck him all night, i would never leave the house.

Dear Allah,

please bestow this gift unto me

if you send him to me, but naked and riding on a silver lined cloud i shall stop making pork sandwiches for my Muslim cousins and telling them that its halal chicken :) and i will be a good girl i PROMISE

love your little rascal .

BYRON

XX

Gun Powder

Bang bang you shot me down
Bang bang I hit the ground
Bang bang that awful sound
Bang bang my baby shot me down

sometimes my thoughts are just gun related....

XX BYRON

Angel of Death

you may not know this,

but....

I FUCKING LOVE SLAYER!

XX BYRON

Lemme, Take you , To Da movies, Shawdday

I Am speechless................

like there is no way on earth that this guy is serious about his music career, if he is then.................

WOYYYY

lord help us.

p.s he is soo dark he is PURPLE, i mean like totally shining in moonlight.

p.p.s its Ok to say it im a black jew #double minority

XX BYRON

The New Existentialism

Some may say gargle my cum

And eat my balls

But I say eat my cum
And gargle my balls

I want to build a time machine
So I can go back and buttfuck
The Virgin Mary

So she can give birth
To the Anti-Christ
Out of her ass

And be the shit demon
That haunts my dreams

Just like the one
In that stupid movie
By the guy who made Clerks

Oh, by the way
Colin Wilson�s book
Is about how existentialism
Has reached an intellectual standstill
Because it is mired in nilhism
And pessimism
And if it is ever to develop further
It would have to take a more
Humanisticly optimistic approach

But before Mr. Wilson
Could demonstrate how
This could be done

I said,
"Hey, I need a blowjob."

So I called your mom
And said,

"Lick my anal crevice,
you sick little bitch.
I want to whip you with my cock
And fuck your armpit�."

And she says,

"I�ll be right over."

At that note,
I broke into song.

"Existentialism is an ism jism."

(Repeat ad nauseum, fall to the ground,
have a seizure, and crawl back to your seat
at the coffee shop)

From the mind of Colin Wilson

XX BYRON

OOOOH, Ester Baxter Lord have mercy!

*raises eyebrow* reaaaaaally?

mmm yes definitely no who this campaign may have been aimed at.... *coughs* paedos...

For those that dont no... Tootsie Rolls are sweets.. and also a dance... i think...

celtic frozen- such an amazing tune

*jumps off the bridge*

Pardon me miss, i dont mean to be rude...but do ya suck balls?

OMG Those Balls Are As Smooth As Eggs

YES....

i will suck those balls!!

if only it were this easy to get a girl to suck your balls ,eh fellas?

XX BYRON

Obese Chronicles part 1:Dude where's my Genitalia?

As harsh as this may seem, it has come to my attention that many of our morbidly obese erm..."buddy's" have magical genitalia ,as in they do a disappearing act every bloody time they sit down or want to do a number 22. Then a question came to mind how do they cope with this never ending anatomical magic trick that God or Ronald MacDonald cursed them with...and it came to as awkwardly as when you have "the talk" with your parents.welcome to the wonderful world of .....

ADULT nappies.

No longer the secret shame of elderly-folk-dumped-in-a-less-that-average-nursing-home-trying-to-recall-their-lost-youth-with-a-cranky-carer-named-ruby or some other dreadful name. OH NO! my fellow Spartans, nor is it the luxury of old business men trying-to-rein-act-their-lost-years-with-a *coughs*" wet nurse (no pun intended) named Lady luccy with two "Cs" to make it look like lucky spelt wrong.

googled it as you do and found out that they have them in many sizes, some even up to XXXXXL, which is like saying.. "hey fatty boom boom, its OK that your SOO obese that small children mistake you for a bouncy castle in the summer and a whale in winter, cos we SOO care about FATTY that we made you an ADULT SIZED NAPPY ,so you and all your fat little friends (by that I a mean variety of processed food logos)can eat the shit at McDonald's whilst doing one,*barf* p.s buy the SHIT WE SELL YOU"